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	<title>gonnalearn.com &#187; Attempted Humor</title>
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	<link>http://www.gonnalearn.com</link>
	<description>What are you going to learn today?</description>
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		<title>This is what happens when your website sucks</title>
		<link>http://www.gonnalearn.com/2009/09/28/things-you-should-put-on-your-website/</link>
		<comments>http://www.gonnalearn.com/2009/09/28/things-you-should-put-on-your-website/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 28 Sep 2009 20:48:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stephan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Attempted Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Business Tips]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Luxembourg]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marketing]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rants]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Web development]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[basics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[content]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[websites]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gonnalearn.com/?p=225</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Here's a quick reminder of the very basic content you should put on your website (examples are geared towards a brick and mortar store):]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Here&#8217;s the first page of &#8220;search hits&#8221; from my three private blogs (<a href="http://hypermegaglobal.net/">hypermegaglobal.net</a>, <a href="http://meltdownblog.com/">meltdownblog.com</a> and <a href="http://krise.hypermegaglobal.net/">krise.hypermegaglobal.net</a> &#8211; all updated much more frequently than this one):</p>
<div id="attachment_238" class="wp-caption aligncenter" style="width: 463px"><img src="http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/fnapf-fnapf-fnapf.gif" alt="Search hits and keywords" title="Search hits and keywords" width="453" height="427" class="size-full wp-image-238" /><p class="wp-caption-text">All of these are from today</p></div>
<p>As you can see, most of my visitors where looking for <img src="http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/fnapf.gif" alt="fnapf" title="fnapf" width="57" height="13" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-227" style="vertical-align:text-bottom; padding-bottom: 1px" />, which is a pet supply franchise chain. That&#8217;s because <a href="http://hypermegaglobal.net/2009/fressnapf-xxl-luxemburg" title="Fressnapf Foetz Luxemburg Bericht">I blogged</a> about how badly <img src="http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/fnapf.gif" alt="fnapf" title="fnapf" width="57" height="13" class="alignnone size-full wp-image-227" style="vertical-align:text-bottom; padding-bottom: 1px" />&#8216;s Luxembourgish website sucks. Not only is it configured in a way that <a href="http://www.gonnalearn.com/2008/10/16/websites-with-and-without-www/">omitting the &#8220;www.&#8221;</a> will get you nowhere, even if you make it to their website it&#8217;s difficult to locate their biggest store unless you know where to find it on a map (or keep zooming out). This quickly became the most popular post on my blog (pathetic, I know) which means that I&#8217;m obviously not the only one who had trouble finding what I wanted on their site.</p>
<p>So here&#8217;s a quick reminder of the very basic content you should put on your website (examples are geared towards a brick and mortar store).</p>
<h2>The 5 friggin&#8217; Ws &#8211; things you should definitely put on your website</h2>
<p>Let&#8217;s simply take the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Five_Ws">well-known 5 Ws from journalism</a> and reinterpret them from the perspective of a website visitor looking for information (which should also get us pretty close to the perspective of a search engine trying to determine your website&#8217;s ranking). Apparently these basics are so obvious that they&#8217;re often forgotten (either that or many people just have no clue of what to put on a website).</p>
<h3>Who?</h3>
<p>Who are you? Example: We&#8217;re &#8220;Zombie Megastore&#8221;, Luxembourg&#8217;s leading store for all you zombie needs. </p>
<h3>What?</h3>
<p>What exactly is it that you do? Example: We carry a large selection of&#8230; well, maybe I shouldn&#8217;t have chosen the zombie store example. Anyhow, here&#8217;s where you list the things customers can find in your shop so that  1. they&#8217;ll find you when searching for your city + a certain item or brand on a search engine and 2. they don&#8217;t have to call and ask if you sell product XYZ item before taking the trip to your store.</p>
<h3>When?</h3>
<p>Opening hours. If you&#8217;re closed on certain days, put this on your website. If you&#8217;re closing your shop for vacation, put this on your website (yes, I&#8217;m looking at you, Luxembourgish shop and restaurant owners who like to take long summer vacations).</p>
<h3>Where?</h3>
<p>Your address (you might want to include your phone/fax number, email, link to contact form, etc.). </p>
<h3>Why?</h3>
<p>This is the place where you might think you&#8217;ll have to come up with a wonderful story to justify why you&#8217;re doing what you do (&#8220;when my grandfather turned into a zombie, I realized there was no shop where I could buy thinks to make his&#8230; uhm&#8230; &#8216;life&#8217; just a bit better&#8221;). That&#8217;s cute, but I suggest staying with the customer perspective and just answering the old basic &#8220;why should I buy from you&#8221;-question. It can be as simple as &#8220;we are the biggest store for zombie supplies in the entire state&#8221;.</p>
<p>That&#8217;s it, the basics. Of course a website can do much more than just answering these questions, but not answering them means you&#8217;ll lose potential visitors/customers every day.</p>
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		<title>Chiropractors &#8220;very satisfied&#8221; with heise.de redesign</title>
		<link>http://www.gonnalearn.com/2008/08/14/heise-redesign/</link>
		<comments>http://www.gonnalearn.com/2008/08/14/heise-redesign/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 14 Aug 2008 12:16:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stephan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Attempted Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Web development]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gonnalearn.com/?p=166</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Update: Heise made some modifications while I was writing this post, so not everything below still applies.

It's summer time in Europe, many people are on vacation, others are distracted by the Olympics - if you were planning something outrageous, now might be a good time to get away with it. No, I'm not talking ...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>Update:</strong></span> Heise made some modifications while I was writing this post, so not everything below still applies.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s summer time in Europe, many people are on vacation, others are distracted by the Olympics &#8211; if you were planning something outrageous, now might be a good time to get away with it. No, I&#8217;m not talking about Georgia, I mean the redesign of <a title="heise online" href="http://www.heise.de">heise.de</a>, Germany&#8217;s IT website no. 1.</p>
<p>Heise.de went from a table-based, liquid layout to a xhtml 1.0 strict compliant fixed width (elastic) layout. I don&#8217;t think anyone complained about the xhtml compliance, the key here is &#8220;fixed width&#8221;. Yes, I know. Discussed to death. In the left corner, we have &#8220;long lines are hard to read&#8221; and &#8220;fixed width gives you better control over the layout, making it easier to design visually appealing sites for lazy designers like me&#8221; whereas in the right corner we have &#8220;liquid layouts adapt to all sorts of different screens, which is what the internet is all about&#8221; and &#8220;if I believe the lines are too long I can resize my viewport myself, thank you very much&#8221;. I can&#8217;t tell you who&#8217;s right (because it&#8217;s one of these annoying &#8220;many shades of grey&#8221; topics) but what I can tell you is that switching from one camp to the other is going to make many people unhappy. Very unhappy.</p>
<p>2 billions. That&#8217;s the number of unhappy comments in heise&#8217;s discussion forum. Ok, it&#8217;s more like 5000 and only about 90% of those express disapproval. Still, even if you consider that the <em>heise forum</em> is most likely the place in cyberspace with the highest concentration of negativity, that&#8217;s a lot of unhappiness.</p>
<p>Is it justified? Well, judge for yourself. Or just let me tell you: <strong>yes</strong>! Let&#8217;s have a look at how they messed it up:</p>
<p><a href="http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/heise1.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-167" title="heise redesign" src="http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/heise1.jpg" alt="" width="480" height="314" /></a></p>
<p>This is how the website now looks on my not-so-gigantic 1280&#215;1024 screen. I took the liberty of highlighting the actual content, squeezed in the lower left corner. Some people on the forum are already complaining about a stiff neck from looking to the left all the time while others don&#8217;t like the content being so close to the <span style="text-decoration: line-through;">end of the world</span> edge of the screen:</p>
<p><a href="http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/heise2.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-168" title="heise redesing 2" src="http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/heise2.jpg" alt="" width="480" height="360" /></a></p>
<p>What I dislike most is the odd combination of a centered upper navigation bar with a main content area justified to the left. It makes me feel seasick:</p>
<p><a href="http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/heise3.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-169" title="heise redesign 3" src="http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/heise3.jpg" alt="" width="480" height="314" /></a></p>
<p>There&#8217;s also the large unused white area to the right which is making readers nervous because they expect annoying flashy ads to appear at any time (the medical term is &#8220;ad premonition disorder&#8221;).</p>
<p>Having studied 2534523 comments, I managed to identify certain patterns in behavior:</p>
<ul>
<li><strong>&#8220;It&#8217;s not a problem if you can fix it&#8221;</strong>: These folks suggest you <a href="http://userstyles.org/styles/9589">manipulate the css</a> to get the beloved liquid layout back. They probably use Linux, so they&#8217;re used to fixing everything they don&#8217;t like.</li>
<li><strong>&#8220;Couldn&#8217;t you give users an option, maybe a switch in their profile which would let them choose their preferred layout? Hey, I might even be willing to pay for it&#8221;</strong>: Windows users.</li>
<li><strong>&#8220;You&#8217;re not supposed to expand your browser to the full size of your monitor. A good OS wouldn&#8217;t encourage you to do this!&#8221;</strong>: Smug Apple 30&#8243; cinema display owners.</li>
<li><strong>&#8220;I hate you and I&#8217;m not coming back&#8230; at least not until tomorrow, but I&#8217;ll just return to see if you changed the design back and to post angry comments if you didn&#8217;t&#8221;</strong>: They&#8217;ll never leave and they know it.</li>
<li><strong>&#8220;Hey, finally something I can write about in my blog!&#8221;</strong>:Yeah, that&#8217;s&#8230; uhm&#8230; me.</li>
</ul>
<p>This would normally have been the end of this post, except that I had an epiphany when I turned my monitor by 90° (it&#8217;s fixed on an Ergotron monitor arm and my graphics card supports this, too). This changed everything! All those print media sites like <a href="http://www.spiegel.de">SPON</a>, <a href="http://www.sueddeutsche.de">sueddeutsche.de</a>, <a href="http://www.faz.net">faz.net</a> and even <a href="http://www.wort.lu">wort.lu</a> suddenly looked great! I wonder why&#8230;</p>
<p><a href="http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/heise4.jpg"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-170" title="It looks good on my screen" src="http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/heise4.jpg" alt="" width="426" height="282" /></a></p>
<p>&#8220;Hey, it looks good on my screen!&#8221; (the one on the left). <img src='http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
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		<item>
		<title>Totally awesome furniture (and other stuff that you can&#8217;t buy)</title>
		<link>http://www.gonnalearn.com/2008/07/22/totally-awesome-furniture-that-you-cant-buy/</link>
		<comments>http://www.gonnalearn.com/2008/07/22/totally-awesome-furniture-that-you-cant-buy/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 22 Jul 2008 21:44:05 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stephan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Attempted Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ideas]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gonnalearn.com/?p=163</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[One of my brothers sent me this link to John Nouanesing's catalogue after seeing one of his designs on Ehrensenf (the German version of Rocketboom).

Me: "Too bad you can't buy anything :("
Brother: "I thought you had some contacts in China, this stuff is screaming to be sold"
Me: "Wouldn't that be... you know..."
Brother: "Capitalism? ;)"

He's ...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>One of my brothers sent me <a title="Delivered within 84 years after your order" href="http://www.johnnouanesing.net/catalogue%20UK.html">this link to John Nouanesing&#8217;s catalogue</a> after seeing one of his designs on <a href="http://www.ehrensenf.de">Ehrensenf</a> (the German version of <a href="http://www.rocketboom.com/">Rocketboom</a>).</p>
<p><em>Me: &#8220;Too bad you can&#8217;t buy anything <img src='http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_sad.gif' alt=':(' class='wp-smiley' /> &#8221;<br />
</em>Brother: &#8220;I thought you had some contacts in China, this stuff is screaming to be sold&#8221;<em><br />
Me: &#8220;Wouldn&#8217;t that be&#8230; you know&#8230;&#8221;<br />
</em>Brother: &#8220;Capitalism? <img src='http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';)' class='wp-smiley' /> &#8221;</p>
<p>He&#8217;s studying law, BTW (and just to make sure this doesn&#8217;t come back to haunt him when he&#8217;s about to be nominated to the European Court of Justice or something like that, let me point out that we were kidding and that it&#8217;s now 5:45 AM in Ningbo and nobody&#8217;s in the factory to pick up the phone, anyway).</p>
<p>The morally immaculate way is &#8211; of course &#8211; to look at the designs and let their total awesomeness* inspire your creativity.</p>
<p>*I don&#8217;t think I&#8217;ve ever used &#8220;total awesomeness&#8221; before, so you&#8217;d better take a look. <img src='http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
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		<title>Best of SQL injection attacks*</title>
		<link>http://www.gonnalearn.com/2008/07/02/best-of-sql-injection-attacks/</link>
		<comments>http://www.gonnalearn.com/2008/07/02/best-of-sql-injection-attacks/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 02 Jul 2008 00:04:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Stephan</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Attempted Humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Security]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.gonnalearn.com/?p=147</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Best of SQL injection attacks (no, it wasn't me)...]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Click to resize:<br />
<a href="http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/experts-exchange.gif"><img class="alignnone size-full wp-image-148" title="Experts" src="http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/experts-exchange.gif" alt="" width="500" height="41" /></a></p>
<p>A fix? Uhm&#8230; maybe you can find a good self-help book on SQL injections:</p>
<p><a href="http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/infideas.gif"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-149" title="infideas" src="http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/infideas-300x263.gif" alt="This must be a world record" width="300" height="263" /></a></p>
<p>You should also consider hosting scripts locally:<br />
<a href="http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/rangefinderforum.gif"><img class="alignnone size-medium wp-image-150" title="I did not make this up" src="http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/07/rangefinderforum-300x75.gif" alt="" width="300" height="75" /></a></p>
<p>SCNR.</p>
<p>*no, it wasn&#8217;t me. <img src='http://www.gonnalearn.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_wink.gif' alt=';)' class='wp-smiley' /> </p>
<p>For serious information:</p>
<ul>
<li><a href="http://noscript.net/" target="_blank">NoScript</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.cio.com.au/index.php/id;552560972" target="_blank">Phishing botnet expands by hacking legit sites</a></li>
<li><a href="http://isc.sans.org/diary.html?storyid=4645" target="_blank">More SQL Injection with Fast Flux hosting</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.microsoft.com/technet/security/advisory/954462.mspx" target="_blank">Microsoft Security Advisory (954462)</a></li>
<li><a href="http://www.communities.hp.com/securitysoftware/blogs/spilabs/archive/2008/06/23/finding-sql-injection-with-scrawlr.aspx" target="_blank">Finding SQL Injection with Scrawlr</a></li>
</ul>
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